a losing game

o baby!

On Wednesday, July 13, at 10:35 am, my youngest sister gave birth to a baby boy. He was four weeks premature, but still weighed in at 6 pounds 8 ounces. His head was turned the wrong way during birth, so he was kinda stuck, and after three difficult hours of pushing, just as they were getting ready to take my sister into the OR for a C-section, they tried one more time with a suction vacuum device, and he arrived; his head a little bruised from the vacuum device, but healthy, very loved, and beautiful.

I don't have any children. This is the first child in my immediate family. I've always felt very protective of both of my sisters, especially my youngest sister, and as I was watching the baby yesterday; introducing myself to the spirit of this brand new little person - watching my sister hold him and feed him, and watching the baby's daddy do the same, I wanted so badly to somehow insure that nothing bad would ever happen to him - to guarantee that no hardship or evil would ever befall this new and beautiful creature. I want to protect him from sickness and disease, from pollutants, from artificially manufactured industrial foods, airborne toxins, and poor environmental conditions - from bullying, from crime, from hurt feelings, from a broken heart, from poverty, from anger, from alcoholism, from unjust legislative decisions, from natural disasters, from indifference, from stupid people.

How vulnerable. How perfect. Perhaps my awe about this whole newborn baby thing might seem naïve or overly romanticized to any of you who have had children, or who have gone through this numerous times, but seeing this little guy, knowing his family's history, understanding the potential for inherited family conditions, and having had extensive personal experience with the maelstrom of family drama and all-around bullshit that he will inevitably have to learn to maneuver through and endure, I want so badly to protect him - to somehow do everything within my power to filter it out so it isn't able to trickle down to him in its full potency.

I will be the best uncle I can be. I can hardly wait to spoil him, educate him, play with him, drag him through museums and amusement parks, bring him to musicals and concerts, give him delicious treats for his belly and his brain and his soul. Whatever else this kid may have, he will also have me to run to, to talk to, and to be with whenever he wants or needs, and it will be my pleasure and my privilege to introduce him to an abundance of things that most ordinary people find it unnecessary to know anything about. If knowledge is indeed power, then I will insure that he has access to an arsenal of knowledge. Yes little one, welcome to the world, I'm your Auntie Mame!