don't give into grumpy

There are certain days, like today, when no matter what I do I can't seem to shake this nagging unpleasantness. I woke up this morning and tried to surrender my will to something greater than myself. I asked for direction, patience and tolerance. I asked that I be shown the way of kindliness and love in everything that I do. But guess what? It didn't seem to make a bit of difference. I went out into the world today restless, irritable and discontent.

I suppose it's progress to be aware of these feelings and try to behave correctly rather than just bulldoze my way through the day like some storybook ogre oblivious to the effect my actions have on others. Several times today I had these vague out of body moments when I could almost see aggressive, overly gloomy and arrogant things come out my mouth but I just couldn't stop them. It was as if I was possessed by some evil tyrant who was playing me like a helpless marionette.

Luckily I know enough to limit my exposure to the outside world on days like this. I completed my tasks, came right home, ate and walked my dog. Now, with any luck, the evening will go by uneventfully and tomorrow the emotional disturbances of today will have passed.

I'm glad I get second chances. Tomorrow if someone hands me a lemon I'm going to insist I see a silver lining in it and if there happens to be a raincloud over my head I'm going to make lemonade.