Sunday, December 19, 2010

countdown

I'm nervous, and excited, and a little scared. Funny - not so much about being immersed in a different culture in unfamiliar surroundings as much as being challenged spiritually. I have been looking around the website of the ashram in Kerala where I'll be staying, and it really does seems to cater to folks with a much more advanced spiritual practice then I have (understatement).

I feel that I've done all I can to prepare for the trip; I've packed very lightly, I've made several drugstore trips, I've arranged for my plants to be watered and my pets to be cared for, and I've also spoken to all the folks who I usually talk to everyday about keeping active in a support network while I'm away. I have contact numbers and sunblock...

Yesterday I found myself intermittently acting like a jerk and bursting into tears for no apparent reason. Everything is prepared and I only need to walk through one moment to the next to have a new experience unfold for me. Now to breathe, admit powerlessness, and surrender. This is what jumping off a cliff must feel like.

Please, Oh great Remover of obstacles, allow me to get out of my own way so that thy will may be done.

OM

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